Small Steps

Once upon a time, a girl was told that big goals are too much. She should not give up her goals, but she should pare down the goal into more manageable steps. Indeed that did sound like an impressive plan, so the girl followed the advice.

Okay, maybe that isn't a fairy tale, but it is better than saying "Hey, my sister told me to make smaller goals that lead up to my big goal, so I figured I'd try it." I had a bit of a break down last weekend, but I am feeling better now, partly due to this idea.

Here is my plan:

1.) Get some sort of part time job.
2.) Keep running.
3.) Write some.
4.) Work on my doctorate program list.
5.) Stay sane.

Other than number five, it doesn't seem so difficult. This week I applied for a part-time job at a local library. It is 20 hours a week at $8.40 an hour. That isn't bad. I would be quite happy with it. The job could be fun. I could decide I want to be a librarian, which would take me less than five years. Always good news, right? (I am ignoring economic problems.) I have also started a running log. I need something to keep me accountable. My intention is to write some tomorrow. I mean, I am going to write tomorrow. I will also take a look at my doctorate program list again.

Small steps. They count.

It's been too long

After a considerable hiatus, I am back to blogging—probably as a form of stress relief. I graduated with my MA in May. Since then, I have applied for countless jobs, gotten a random customer service job, quit a random customer service job, and gone back to teaching Composition to college freshmen. All of these changes have made my life a little more complex. My graduate experience made me feel like I did not want to go on to get my doctorate. Part of that decision was because of the expense. I could make so much money during those five to seven years, right? Well, that isn’t really working out. So now I have to make some difficult decisions.

I’ve been told that I am young and free; I have so many options open to me. All I have to do is grab them! It sounds so easy, but it is proving to be less so. The doctorate is back on the table (if only I can get in), but I am investigating other options too. I am enjoying teaching a lot, so Teaching for America is on my list, as is getting my teaching license from the university where I am teaching now. Just yesterday, I applied for a part-time job at a public library so I can see if that is an atmosphere I enjoy. I’ve been told I should try veterinary medicine, so I am looking into applying for some part-time jobs in local vet offices as well. It is time for some exploration, I guess!

Finally, one more hurdle passed!

I have finally finished and turned in the lovely MA portfolio. Since it was a requirement for graduation and I am scheduled to graduate in May, this is good news. Now I am back to my job search, but I am finding fewer job openings that look enjoyable to me. I feel like time is running out! I've been looking at Monster.com again (No Careerbuilder.com this time!) and some college and university job listings. My plan is to apply to between three and five jobs each week. The next step is to actually find the jobs to apply to! Wish me luck.

Oh, how I love thee, my portfolio!

I’ve been working on my MA portfolio. I should have started working on it a long time ago, but I keep thinking there is time. There is not time anymore; it is due in a month. The most horrible part of it all is that I actually have more work than I thought I did. If I had realized that the two sections of my analytical paper were not reconcilable, I wouldn’t have put working on it off so long. So instead of having six pages to write on one paper and five on the other, I have thirteen to write on one and five on the other. Lovely. On top of that, I have all the work for my new classes. For instance, I have a 10 page paper due on Monday and I don’t even have the slightest idea what I am going to write about. I know it isn’t that bad, but I am getting really stressed out about it all. I am worried that I won’t graduate because my papers aren’t good enough. I feel a bit incapable. If I had someone to talk to about it, I think I would feel better. At least I might. Everyone is just annoyed that I am worrying. I don’t understand how they are not! If I don’t graduate, what am I going to do? It will be like I wasted these two years. But if they don’t graduate, it will be even worse! You can’t go to get your Ph.D. if you don’t have your MA!

Too much to do? Why don't you do MORE?

As the semester has progressed, I feel more and more stupid for having taken four classes. I have two books to read for next week as well as preparing discussion questions for one and revising a paper for another class entirely. I have a paper due on March 1 and another due not long after that. I should be revising my papers for my portfolio. This is mostly not happening. Oh! And I completely forgot about teaching my own class. That is definitely problematic.

Along with all of this, I need to find a job for after I graduate (if I graduate). I haven't really been working on this at all. I am still at a total of three job applications. This isn't very proactive. Maybe I shouldn't have been so quick to blow off all those sales jobs! I don't even have to try for those. Of course that doesn't mean that I will get one, just that I attract their attention very easily.

Luckily, I have a fellow grad student working on time travel. If only I knew how far in the future I need her to send me!

Snow Days

There are many reasons to love snow days. One of those is that you can get a bunch of work done because your ability to find ways to procrastinate is limited. For instance, I like to go shopping or on errands when I have work to do. This is my favorite time to decide that I really need something completely unnecessary like a back up surge protector or air freshener. However, yesterday in the Level 2 Snow Emergency, no matter how many times I decided I needed something (more pop, bananas, pizza, broccoli, Kleenex for the office), I could not go get it, so I did more work. While I didn’t get the amount of work done that I needed to, I still got more than I would have without the snow day. If I had gone to school, I would have felt that I was able to leave for those things. I even managed to dig my car out today and I will be going to class tonight (UT cancelled from 3 PM yesterday until noon today, but my 2 PM class was cancelled by the professor). Tomorrow everything will be back to normal (under 7.4 inches of snow).

Apply yourself

Online applications confuse me. Well, not literally. I applied to two jobs at OSU today and I had some issues. I don't see the purpose of having the person tell all the information (or even most of it, as is the case with OSU) from her/his resume and then attach it and a letter. Ask for one or the other. I also had some technical difficulties, so that probably added to my dissatisfaction with the process. I've been having a lot of those lately. I try to ignore them. On top of the technical problems, I realized that both the COSI and the ANDT Columbus postings were expired. Overall this has not been a good day for getting a job. I did get a bit of reading done and a lot of grading, though. Hopefully that counts for something! One more weekend day to go and then back to school.

No class? I can get so much done!

Whoo-hoo! One of my professors cancelled class today. I shouldn’t be as happy as I am; he may be sick. I am a selfish person, though, and I felt like I had gotten a beautiful present! Somehow I was under the impression that I would actually get some work done, but all I ended up doing was reading about ten pages of Aurora Leigh. With more than an hour of extra time, I think I should have been more productive. Now I am tired and lazy (not news, I know), but I have to finish the poem. I also need to work on Middle English, since I have that class first tomorrow, but I am too confused.

Four days later and still tired

Strangely enough, despite the four day gap in my posts, I am still exactly the same as I was on Thursday. Actually, that is a lie. I am not exactly the same. I am tired to the point of meanness. This weekend I helped my sister move, so I have more of an excuse than on Thursday. Somehow I do not think that will make the newest insurance salesman who called to offer me an interview feel any better. Usually, I just say something along the lines of me not being free. This time I made it a little more fun. Partially, it is because the man who called was very vague. I think he thought that English majors are stupid (but good talkers). In fact, I am highly trained in critical thinking as well as communication. By this I mean that I do notice that something is fishy when a person says absolutely nothing in a lot of words. When I asked what the position was, he didn’t really answer. I forced the issue. He eventually admitted only that it was a financial management position. What he meant was sales, and I knew it. He said he will call me back, but I hope not. Sales positions are the last on my list! I wish they would leave me alone!

Oh, so tired.

Despite the fact that I did absolutely nothing today, I am horribly tired. The most strenuous activity of the day was walking from the parking garage to the office. Since UT’s campus isn’t very big, I didn’t have to walk far. I guess it is partly my brain that is tired. I’ve been loopy and giddy all day. I was laughing at things that were only slightly funny (like Ashley focusing on saying “caught” versus “cot”) and interrupting people (like Dr. Fitz!) and talking too loud. I also managed to equate hair with a bell. While I didn’t laugh, Dr. Gregory did. At least I have been amusing to other people. Maybe that counts as doing something. I think everything would have worked out if I’d only had a little more caffeine. Those three (or was it four?) cups of coffee were not enough, apparently. I did feel the urge at about 7 PM, but the vending machine was out again. In the perfect world, people would not let that happen! I think we should start a movement to have the companies who let their vending machines run out frequently should be fined $100 per day that they let it be empty. I wouldn’t be tired then! Of course I probably wouldn’t sleep very well tonight either.